I had started writing this post, but realized there were too many details for such a “nothing happened” story. Basically, it’s another story where I went out and everyone in the group loved me, except for the jealous, insecure chick.
Baby Bender is moving tomorrow and invited me to his going away party over the weekend. The girl who I have a feeling he’d been seeing recently (or maybe in the past, or maybe never, who knows) started off being alright with me. That is, until BB mentioned to his friend that I was going to NJ this summer for a concert and then he yelled to me across the table that I had to stay with him when I came down.
She then started peacocking. She suddenly was the loudest and most obnoxious person I’d met. When the group wanted to go to a club before karaoke (to mine and BB’s dismay), she started asking if there was a pole at the club because she wanted to pole dance. Seriously? Then any time BB, or anyone else in the group for that matter, tried to talk to me, she’d interrupt. And if anyone was close to BB (not just me), she’d play this “well, I’ve known him for like 2 years so obviously I’m a better friend”.
Ugh, GTFO.
So we ended up at this karaoke place where you rent a room and sing in there, semi privately. I hate these places, but whatever. She had gone to the club while a small section of the group went to karaoke. BB and I were cuddling on the couch, singing horrible Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch karaoke when the rest of the group showed up. She and her girlfriends sang Taylor Swift’s 22 and I wanted to murder them. It was more awful than need me.
Also, they messed up the tv and programming system for the karaoke, which lead to me yelling at her and BB taking my side. BOOM BITCH.
BB and I ended the night with a little “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” and everyone loved it. She didn’t like how cozy we were and blurted out “HEY BB, WE SHOULD DO BREAKFAST”. He simply said “sure okay” and I shrugged it off. Whatever. Then I realized she meant leave right that minute to go get breakfast at some sleazy diner downtown.
Now, we were in my neck of the woods. The diner is way out of the way, but it’s near where both of them live (and some of the others from the group). BB tried to get me to go with them, but I had decided that I didn’t want to go all the way down there for horrible food, just to come all the way back to my hood. He thought about it and understood, saying that we needed to make sure to hang out before he left, which may not happened since that only leaves tonight.
Anyway, this stupid bitch has the smuggest smile on her face, but loses it when BB starts gushing about how fun and awesome I am to his friends. “She does Muay Thai, you shouldn’t fuck with her”, “She’s got awesome tattoos”, “She’s got the best job ever”, etc. She hated it. It was great.
I’m sorry that I’m fantastic and you’re boring. I can’t stand attention seeking bitches like that.
First of all, it’s my birthday today so I’m in an extra cheerful mood. I’ve had a great birthday weekend so far (most of which will be listed on my other blog since it’s mostly regarding things happening with the Red Sox and me) and today will be a good day, too.
So I had a date with Mini Marky Mark, maybe 2 weeks ago? We went out for frozen yogurt and then went back to my place for a bit. Same old, same old. I always have a good time with him- just wish that we’d actually make a move to try to be more serious. However, I can’t force him to do that, so I’ll just enjoy the time that we do spend together and not pine too much over him. He’s a good guy, but probably not THE guy, so it’s alright.
However, I’ve been spending so much more time with Baby Bender. Mostly we just get together to go to bars or parties. This weekend, he came out for my birthday and brought his older (married) brother with him since he was visiting for the long weekend. I had a great time with BB and getting to know his brother. They had plans to go to the Red Sox game the next day (yesterday, Memorial Day), since they’re Phillies fans (who were the visiting team). Neither had been to Fenway so they asked me what they should do for the day. I suggested that they do the tour of the park and get lunch/dinner at one of the bars around the field. They called me up yesterday afternoon and had me join them for dinner and I shared more information on the park. Even better, they got to cheer for me since I was part of the Memorial Day ceremony on the field during the pre-game events, which was kind of fun.
So spending all this time with BB makes me super sad to announce that he’s LEAVING Boston in a month. He dropped the bomb on me that he’s going back to get his master’s in the fall, but will be moving back home for the rest of the summer beforehand. I’m so bummed, it’s not even funny. He assures me that he’s coming back to Boston in the spring, once he’s done with school. I’m hoping he does, if for nothing else just to have my awesome party partner back. However, I absolutely adore him and now that I’ve got in good with his brother, I just want to keep him to myself. I guess we’ll see where that goes.
Otherwise- there’s nothing on the dating front right now. I have reactivated my OKCupid account to no avail. There are some guys I work with that are attractive and would be worth a shot, I’m sure, but I’m so awkward about flirting that I don’t know what to do.
I am so sorry guys. Life has been out of control, more so than usual lately.
-First of all: Boston. I had been meaning to write a post about the city that I live in and love with every bit of my heart. I’ve always felt this way about Boston and now that I work at Fenway Park, it’s an even bigger love. When the bombings happened, I tried to put my feelings of my city into words, and just couldn’t figure it out. Eventually I’ll write that post.
Either way, the Marathon Bombings have created quite a stir, to say the least, in my life. To start, I was leaving Fenway when they happened, so I was pretty close it. That was scary enough. I ended up at home safe, but then ventured back out moments later to the bombing site to find a friend of mine who was stranded there and didn’t know where to go. Scary stuff.
Then there was the lovely manhunt that was basically in my backyard. I live RIGHT next to Watertown. Like seriously, that’s where I do most of my mall shopping. And the car hijacking was in Allston, where I DO live. So reading about all that and seeing everything on the news was frightening.
Then the worst bit (for me, anyway): these assholes trained at MY gym. Granted, they were never real members, but they did come in once in a while to train. As you can imagine, this has made mine and my teammates’ lives completely insane. The FBI has been all over the gym, but I think they’re done now. However, reporters have been ruthless. They camp out outside the gym and harass us as we go in to train. They’ve been going to our homes to try to interview us. My coaches have been all up on the news like crazy. It’ll all come to pass soon, but until then it’s just annoying. And no, I didn’t know the guys. I may, MAY, have seen the older (deceased) brother, but I can’t really be sure. We’re a small tight knit group, but there are a few people that come in and just train on their own. I’m sure that he’s been in when I have, but honestly, I don’t know.
-Secondly, happy stuff. Fenway Park is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING. Every day that I get to go into work, I fall in love all over again. I just can’t put it into words. I’m currently in the middle of switching domains for my Red Sox blog, so I’ll get it to you when I get it all set up.
-Lastly, my dating life has been meh lately. It’s okay. April was a crazy month and I knew it would be that way. Now that it’s May, things are a little calmer, so we’ll see what happens. Baby Bender and I still hang out and make out. The Baseball Player was texting me about getting together soon. And Marky Mark are making plans for the weekend. As for new guys, I just don’t really feel all that motivated to find someone and I’m also just not inspired at all.
So I am a HUGE fan of anything that allows me to dress in costume. It’s why I do Santacon every year. So when I discovered, through my Santacon friends, that Boston has an Easter Bunny pub crawl, I was over the moon. Last year, I couldn’t attend, but this year I made the Boston Bunny Bar Hop a priority. I invited Baby Bender to come along with my group of friends, since I know how he feels about costumes and pub crawls- the exact way I feel about them. He was just as excited as I was and met up with my roommate and me at the first stop.
Basically, we went through the whole night with bunny ears and glow sticks, hitting up the list of Bunny Approved bars in Cambridge. I had put together this really awesomely adorable/hot (go figure how that worked) outfit for my black and pink bunny costume. I got a lot of comments over my mini skirt and how my ass looked (seriously, I had never received so many compliments over my ass from so many strangers, it was a really weird feeling). I even got propositioned for a threesome with this couple. Baby Bender had a field day watching me deal with that.
So we were all pretty drunk and decided to grab Chinese food afterwards. Baby Bender and I had not been physical at all that night, aside from sitting close to each other on the couch at one bar. At the restaurant, we got a little cuddly, but nothing out of my usual nature.
Baby Bender lives downtown, whereas I live in the hipstery college neighborhoods. We were close to my house, which means far from his, so my roommate slyly asked him if he planned on staying with us. He looked at me and asked if he was and I told him he could if he wanted to.
He came home with us.
I didn’t know what his thoughts were, so I thought I’d let him do whatever he wanted really. We have an extra bed that he could have slept in, or he could stay with me of course. He followed me into my room and just stripped down and got into bed. I shrugged and changed my clothes and got into bed with him. He pulled me up to him and we just cuddled.
We stayed up talking and laughing for a few hours, when I jumped out of bed to check my bass guitar for something. When I got back into bed, he pulled me on top of him and I was a little conflicted. I knew we couldn’t have sex, thanks to my little problem, but I didn’t want to get into that whole thing with him that night. I didn’t want to tease him or lead him on, so I just kind of snuggled to him and kissed his cheek. I crawled off of him and kept cuddling with him. We started kissing, which led to a little fooling around. I told him we couldn’t have sex and he responded “Yea, that’s cool. I can still be horny and want you though, right?” I laughed and told him of course, and we just kept making out and getting all handsy. He was little shocked when he discovered my nipple piercings, because oh yea, did I tell you that my nipples were pierced? Basically that’s how that happened, haha. Anyway, nothing really escalated, and we just fell asleep afterwards.
After sleeping all day, I got up and my roommate and I decided we wanted to cook breakfast. I told him that we were going to the store and he could just stay and sleep if he wanted to. He ended up coming with us and the three of us had this cute little day of doing nothing at all at my apartment with an awesome breakfast. He ended up leaving around 4 that afternoon.
We text each other quite a bit, all innocent. Mostly about baseball, hockey, and boxing. Like I said a million times, I don’t care if nothing pans out with him. Honestly, I don’t expect anything to. I just love being around him. He’s hilarious and a blast to be around. If all we do is get beers, watch hockey games, and make out every now and then- I’m more than okay with that.
I have this really awesome picture of the two of us from the bar hop. I wish I could post it, because it’s hilarious. Maybe one of these days.
So every now and then we message each other, via facebook or texting. Mostly one-liners or something about Mark Wahlberg (he’s a fangirl like me). Anyway, he was going to meet up with me on St. Patrick’s Day, but never did make it out. He texted me the next day to apologize and we chatted for a little bit. I told him that I was planning on hitting up 90s night on Friday and it was in his neck of the woods if he wanted to join. Of course he was totally down and we started planning out outfits. Granted, this 90s night is super fun, but no one dresses in costumes. Both of us are costume geeks, but we played it cool for this event.
So Friday rolled around and I took my roommate and my Gym BFF (we’ll call her The Sheriff from now on, since I reference her a lot and that’s her nickname anyway) downtown. We went over to BB’s apartment which is in the heart of downtown Boston. It was the first time I’d seen him since Hurricane Sandy when he stayed at my apartment. He gave me a huge hug and took the three of us upstairs to pregame. He got along fabulously with my friends and then “yelled” at me for changing my outfit from what I told him I was going to wear. After a quick beer, we shuffled over to 90s night.
It was a lot of fun. The DJ is a friend of mine and we all had a great time. BB had a few friends meet us at the bar and they were a good time, too. He and I spent most of the night catching up and after a bit he put his arm around me. I followed suit, but didn’t read much into it.
We did chat, however, about him joining my gym. He used to box and wants to get back into it. I told him about The Boxing Instructor and how I sometimes go work out super late at night to just do regular boxing. He seems super interested and is thinking about coming in for a free trial. So yay for that!
We walked back towards his place, grabbed some pizza along the way, and he helped us hail a cab. Downtown Boston at 2am is a NIGHTMARE, so it was pretty sweet of him to stick around until we got into a car. He gave me a big hug as I left and then texted me a little bit later to make sure I got home safely.
We decided that we should hang out again soon.
Today I texted him and told him to grab some bunny ears because he would be joining me tomorrow (Good Friday) for the Boston Bunny Bar-Hop. He responded a few minutes later saying “Just picked up some ears!” so we’ll be having a fabulously good time in costume tomorrow evening.
Even if nothing ever happens between the two of us, I just love having him around. He’s just too adorable and sweet!
Sorry guys. I’m still around, but I am completely overloaded with just so much crap.
Basic rundown: I work 9-5 while doing social media for my startup and my radio show. I also will be working most evenings at Fenway Park and I now write for a Red Sox magazine.
Phew. SO much going on, it’s insane. All good things, though!
However, tomorrow I’m spending the day with Baby Bender for St Patrick’s Day (supposedly, we’ll see if he shows up). My Muay Thai coach made me partner with Bag Buddy the other night in class, so I got to kick him and throw him around a little bit, which was nice to get out of my system finally (we’re friends again though so it’s okay). Mini Marky Mark is around, but we haven’t hung out in like a month. Oh and Baseball Player is back around, which is exciting.
I got a text from MMM. Really? After what, 2-3 weeks? Basically it was just “Hey, just wanted to say hi and see how you’re doing. Have you heard about going to Spring Training yet?”
I kinda blew it off for a few hours and then responded very plainly “Hey, things are alright. No word yet, hopefully I’ll know soon.”
So yea. I was like, really dude? You’re going to wait forever to text me and you choose to NOW when things with Bag Buddy are good?
Yea, then Bag Buddy decided that we weren’t doing anything.
Then I texted MMM to ask if he was still interested in hanging out. A few days later, he got back to me, saying yes as long as things were casual and that he was just too busy to get serious. I agreed, since my schedule is completely NUTS right now. So there’s that.
Meanwhile, Monday, I had to face Bag Buddy at the gym. I thought that I was good and over it, until he walked in when I was jump roping. Luckily there were enough people in class that I could kinda hide in the crowd and/or be kept busy by talking to someone else in class. I just felt uneasy and didn’t know how I wanted to react around him. I was “over” it all, but I was still hurt. After class, I had a 5 minutes “meh” moment where I thought about taking time off from the gym, but then snapped out of it when a new kid at the gym told me that I was really good and asked to trade numbers for some music stuff.
It then got me to realize that I just really missed Bag Buddy as my friend. It wasn’t like there were crazy feelings since it was only for 2 weeks, so we could repair this friendship.
I texted him the next morning, asking if he had time to talk that evening. He said he’d call me after his workout. I ended up texting him late since I hadn’t heard from him (which is RARE. When he says he’ll call, he’ll call. Always.) and he texted back a little bit later saying he had fallen asleep after work and asked if we could talk the next day- “unless you really need to talk now, then we can talk”. (It looks pretentious when it’s out of context, but it was meant to be sweet). I told him we could wait, but that I had a meeting the next night and wouldn’t be free until late, again. He then called me and I could tell he had been sleeping. He told me that he knew it was important that we talk (he didn’t know WHY I was wanting to talk, just that I wanted to) so he wanted to make time for me, but I told him that it was okay if he was sleeping. I could wait another day.
The next night I was in this meeting until FOREVER and he started calling me around 930. I texted him, saying that I would call him as soon as I got out. I did call him and we had a great chat.
I told him that I missed him as my friend and that it really sucked at the gym on Monday when I couldn’t talk to him. Well, I COULD, but I didn’t and it didn’t feel good. I also told him that I still would like to spend 1 on 1 time together, not romantically, but just to hang out. I told him that he’s my closest friend at the gym (aside from the BFF) and would like us to get to know each other better. He agreed and said we could make plans soon.
So now I’m just looking forward to hugging my friend and just having things go back to normal. However, I have a feeling that these feelings will resurface in one way or another, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
And as for MMM- My hero Ronda Rousey stated that “sex is important for the female fighter” and that she likes to have sex as often as she can before a fight to boost her testosterone level. So I guess if I’m going to be serious about boxing and Muay Thai, I should keep MMM around, even if it’s just “casual” for now. 😉
Well, wow. The past two weeks have been completely out of control.
So after the whole thing with the Bag Buddy kissing me and being all sweet to me- Yea, let’s catch up from there.
Please stop me if this gets jumbled and yell at me to clear it up for you. It’s complete chaos.
I hadn’t heard from MMM and decided not to reach out until after Valentine’s Day. I didn’t know where our “relationship” stood and didn’t want to build any expectations from the holiday. So I figured, I’d wait until Friday and then see if he wanted to hang out over the week. Unless, of course, he got to me first.
However, during the entire week, Bag Buddy called me a handful of times to just chat. He thanked me for always being sweet to him and taking care of him. He called me last Monday night, when I got hit hard with a mystery illness, to see if I was feeling okay and to ask me if I needed anything. He would text me throughout the week.
Oh, and #SecretCrush came back to the gym out of NOWHERE. I stopped in Wednesday night to talk to some of the guys for my radio show and he was randomly there. We grabbed some frozen yogurt with one of our other gym friends afterwards. It was fun to catch up with him!
So, Friday came and went and I didn’t message MMM. He also has not reached out to me either. I wasn’t freaking out too much about it, other than just feeling slightly sad that I wasted so much time and energy on him. I had been talking to some of my girl friends about him and Bag Buddy, including friends from our gym, and I realized that maybe I should give Bag Buddy a chance. Who knows, right? And if MMM had wanted to hang out with me, he’d put some effort into it, right?
On Sunday, my gym had this big event where we invite other gyms to come over for some smoker fights. It’s always so much fun to go to- you watch a bunch of Muay Thai fights and then we all go get trashed afterwards. However, in the middle of the whole thing, my BFF from the gym and I had plans to go to Boston University to see our friend’s senior thesis performance (he’s another kid from the gym and a theatre major- we always go to his performances). Bag Buddy was one of our guys who signed up to fight on Sunday, so I helped him get psyched up for his fight (that was mostly why he called me all week beforehand- he needed reassurance and I’m the ultimate cheerleader.
He had his fight, he did well, and then we watched everyone else’s fights. We flirted throughout the day, but everyone was flirting with everyone, so I didn’t pay much attention to it. Mostly, I was busy being the Social Director of the evening (that’s always my job- figuring out where we’re going and then getting ahold of everyone to tell them where we are).
Bag Buddy and I ended up having some alone time as we walked together to my BFF’s house to drop off his gear before heading to the bar. We didn’t talk about anything substantial. Just small talk (mostly, it was snowing like crazy so it was hard to have a real conversation). We got everyone together and then went to the bar. He and I split a pitcher and started drinking.
#SecretCrush came out of nowehere (not really, I texted him to let him know where we are) and I just always swoon when he’s around. However, I’m pretty sure he only sees me as a friend and I’m perfectly okay with that. He and I had a heart to heart about life, since we hadn’t seen each other in months. Things were good.
After a beer or two, I decided to make my move. I wanted to let Bag Buddy know that I was open to maybe starting something, so, since he was sitting next to me, I put my hand on his knee. It totally caught him off guard- to the point where he made a small scene about it- but he went along with it and just held my hand. When it came time for me to leave to go to BU, he got a little sad. I told him I’d be back in an hour after the show- that I always went to this kid’s shows and this was a big one. He kissed me and told me to text him when we were coming back.
The show was PHENOMENAL, by the way. It was a 1 man 45 minute show- in the middle of each performance, the actor would do a scene, thanking everyone. My friend turned and faced me and our other friend and made a whole scene about how much he was thankful for us in particular and how much we mean to him. It was a tear jerker for sure.
Anyway, we headed back to the bar to see that out of the group, there were only 3 guys left. And there were 2 girls there. One was all over one of the guys and one was trying to get up on Bag Buddy. He just looked at me, with this puppy dog face, and grabbed his phone. Once he finished typing, he pointed to me and then to the phone, signaling that he had just texted me. I checked my phone and he said that the other guy had asked him to wingman for him and he was annoyed and didn’t know how to get out of it. I just laughed and smiled at him and got friendly with the girl that was all over him. I felt bad for this girl, because she had no chance against me. She thought I was “so awesome and pretty” and I wanted to just say “yea, so that’s why you should leave…”, but I just let it play out. The third guy, myself, and my BFF ended up grabbing another table nearby and left the 4some at their booth.
Bag Buddy kept texting me, asking me to grab him away from this girl. I walked over there and pulled him to our table. At this point, he was really drunk and I had sobered up since I stopped drinking 2 hours before and decided I was done for the night. After some random drama from the girl who was hitting on him, he was able to chill out in peace at our table. He got all snuggly with me and just outright asked “Do you like me?” I just kinda smiled and nodded and he asked me how I liked him. I told him that I wasn’t completely sure and that it was all sudden and new to me. He ended up just leaning in and kissing me. A lot. Lots of kissing. It was slightly awkward, with our friends at the table, but it was friends that knew there was something going on between us and are rooting for the two of us to get together. I did have to push him off a little, since he was drunk and I didn’t want to get drunk ramblings confused with actual real feelings.
So then he just yells to everyone at our table, and basically to the entire bar, “I just love this girl. She’s just so awesome and pretty and has always been there for me. Everyone should just love her.” I don’t know if I’ve ever been more embarrassed. Not because that was embarrassing, I just am weird when all the attention is on me. Our friends just looked at me and smiled and agreed with him, saying that they already loved me.
I had to leave, since I worked in the morning. We kissed as I left and we had made (drunken) plans to get together, the two of us, sometime soon. After I left, my friends ganged up on him, telling him that he needed to man up, without the alcohol, and admit that he liked me sober and take me out on a date ASAP.
Monday came and went and we chatted a little bit. I asked how his hangover was treating him and we talked about the weekend- but no mention of dating or anything. I figured he was avoiding the talk. Okay, that’s fine.
Yesterday, he texted me to ask about a video I was making him of his fight and then we just got onto chatting throughout the day. Then I finally sent a message last night asking him “Do you actually maybe like me or is that just a thing when you’re drinking?” I knew he was at the gym, but figured he’d get back to me once it was over.
He did. He called me. I really can’t get over how he actually calls to talk. I didn’t think guys did that. Anyway- basically we admitted to each other that we do like each other, but want to take it slow since we’re worried about our friendship and the dynamic at the gym. I’m not too worried about the gym- there are a few couples there and as long as you keep the relationship outside, it’s not bad.
During the call, he told me that he talked to one of the guys about it, who was supportive. He listed off some reasons why he liked me. My favorite was “I like you because you’re curious- and I don’t mean that in a perverted way, I just mean that I like that you’re just interested in everything and aren’t stuck in one particular way. You’re a lot of fun to be around because of that.”. Honestly, that was one of the sweetest things anyone ever said to me, so I was blushing pretty hard through the phone. He listed a few other reasons (I’m funny, I have nice boobs, We’re both musicians, I have nice boobs, I’m nice and sweet to him, I have nice boobs…. seriously, this is how it went, but it was a good laugh).
So while I don’t think we accomplished anything huge during the phone call, we at least know that we do like each other and are willing to slowly try something out.
Alright. So MMM and I had a cute date night this week. It went really well. I had decided to hold off on any form of “the talk” for now. Maybe next time. Actually, probably next time- which I’ll mention why further down in this post. I just knew that the other night wasn’t the night to bring up the conversation, since I was still confused myself. I wanted to get my head on straight (plus I was on a weird high from my audition at Fenway that happened an hour before our date) so yea. Holding off until next time.
And then last night happened. Because you know, I can’t have a regular love life without drama.
So I’m sitting in my living room around 8:15 when I get a text message from one of the guys at the gym. He mentions that a bunch of the guys were going to the bar to celebrate another kid’s 21st birthday. I couldn’t pass it up, so I threw on some makeup and ran out the door. I love those guys so much and try to never miss out when we have a get together.
So there’s a group of about 10 of us that are all in the same Muay Thai evening classes, along with our two coaches. We’re doing shots of tequila (and as always, I’m the lone female of the group, but no one even notices because that’s just how it is) and throwing back pitchers of beer- nothing unusual. We get on the subject of dating and about how I like to wingman for my guy friends and I dole out some advice (since apparently I’m now considered a “dating expert”).
And then the Bag Buddy showed up.
Bag Buddy is one of my FAVORITE friends from the gym. He joined 2-3 months after me and is just a total sweetheart. He nicknamed us “bag buddies” since we used to always team up together on the heavy bag for cardio workouts. We’ve become slightly closer lately as I took him to our friend’s New Year’s Eve party and have been chatting with him about his recent breakup. Since New Year’s, I’ve felt like he’s been treating me a little different at the gym- a little more flirty or something. I couldn’t tell if I was just paranoid or if he was just being sweet. Basically, he would just tell me that I should just get rid of MMM if he wasn’t texting me (I had mentioned that I was worried he was avoiding me, even though his cancellations ended up being legit). He would tell me that I’m pretty and that he was happy that I was so nice to him and he’d thank me for giving him advice. It wasn’t creepy, but I felt like there was something more behind his words. We kissed on New Year’s Eve, but it was a midnight kiss and it was just a tiny peck on the lips that didn’t last even .2 seconds.
Also, Bag Buddy is the same guy who’s girlfriend just dumped him via text on Christmas that I had mentioned to MMM, who wasn’t sympathetic to the situation. Full circle.
Sorry, that was a loooottttt of rambling.
Okay, so last night- he mentioned that his ex girlfriend was talking shit about him on twitter and he was really bothered by it. I told him that I’d be a mean girl and get her to stop if he wanted me to. While drunk, we thought it was funny and a good idea- good thing it didn’t happen. Either way, I’m now just keeping tabs on her on the off chance that she says something outrageous about him that I can shut down. He was so happy that I was willing to stand up for him, which I just felt bad about. Seriously, that’s what friends do right? It made me sad that he was amazed that I’d stick up for him.
At one point, I was talking to another guy at the table about the last time we drank together- the night I met MMM. Bag Buddy jumped into the conversation, asking if it was still going on. I had said yes and that we had a date the night before.
So then we moved our group to the dance floor and jokingly the boys would all dance on me because that’s just what we do. Then Bag Buddy would hug me and tell me how much he liked me and that he was glad that I was around. He hadn’t drank near as mu ch as the rest of us since he showed up later- maybe 2-3 beers. But he would just hold on to me and tell me that he had all these feelings for me and that he didn’t know what to do with them. I just smiled and hugged him because I really didn’t know what to do. He would kiss me on the cheek and I’d kiss him on the cheek and tell him that of course I’m nice to him, why wouldn’t I be?
He then reached in for a real kiss and honestly- I let it happen. I let him kiss me. I mostly was just stunned. I really didn’t know how to react. He then asked me “Are you with that guy? Because I don’t want to be an asshole- I won’t do this if you’re with him.” I was honest and said that I was sort of with him- that I was dating him, but things weren’t exclusive yet.
Things calmed down a bit, but my head was spinning. I knew I didn’t have feelings for Bag Buddy. I really, really like MMM and want things to work out with him, which just made me MAD that I didn’t know what was going on.
He did mention that he wanted to stay with me after the New Year’s party, too. Guhhh.
The night ended with Bag Buddy asking if he could take me home. I said he could. He asked if I would let him come inside and I said I wouldn’t since I had to work in the morning still. When we left the bar we realized that at that point he was too drunk to drive and that we went our separate ways.
Today is the great blizzard of 2013 in Boston- so I spend most of today gossiping with my best friend from the gym who had missed last night’s events. She’s one of the only other girls at the gym and we’re the two princesses there, so I knew she needed to hear all the stories (not just my personal drama, but all the other crap that happened, too. There’s always a fight between our group and a group of douches when we go out, haha).
If you didn’t know, this blizzard is crazy and the governor actually banned all vehicles on the road after 4pm. So around 2, I got a text from Bag Buddy, thanking me for everything. I responded ‘no problem!’ and then we got into a long talk about how he needs to move on from his ex. He apologized for being awkward and he then says “I have mad love for you and I just don’t know to show it”. I told him not to worry, that things are okay. He then asked me if I needed anything while he was out driving. Seriously? He’s an absolute doll, but I knew I couldn’t use him or lead him on. I told him I was all set, but thanked him anyway.
So now he’s kind of brushing everything off to save face. It’ll be okay and not awkward. We’ll punch it out at the gym. I’m only awkward because I don’t know if he said anything to the guys before he and I arrived at the party last night (my coach and I had a little heart to heart at one point where he asked me if I had a boyfriend- makes me thinks he was doing some investigating) and I don’t want to hurt this kid. He is an absolute sweetheart and just so sensitive (seriously, all these fighters are, it’s hilarious). And our friendship means a lot to me (and my reputation at the gym as well) and I don’t want to do anything that could harm it- even though I know he’d be the model boyfriend.
Sooooo yup. Obviously MMM will never know this whole story, but we really do need to have a chat. I don’t feel guilty about kissing another boy, but I don’t like kissing lots of boys at the same time. I only want to kiss MMM.
This post is just crap, I know. I can’t really wrap my head around all this drama.
Sorry I’ve been kind of out of it. I’ve been running around like crazy, launching a start up and everything. I also auditioned at Fenway over the weekend to be the next announcer (fingers crossed!) and got to hit in the batting cages with one of my favorite players, so things have been all weird here.
Things with Mini Marky Mark are okay, I think. I say that because I have seen him once since before New Years Eve. At first I was really panicky about it, thinking he was dodging me, but we were still in touch at least. He went to a different party on New Years, went on vacation for a few days, then had the flu, and then was at a conference for a few days. Then on top of that, he had to catch up on work. I was starting to feel like I should give up, but we were able to make plans and went out on Wednesday. Our original plans were to go to a movie, but we ended up going to our favorite hipster bar for some beers and then back to my place. I feel like I was kinda weird in the beginning, but he was very sweet during the whole night, as usual. I did tease him “Do I have to wait a whole month to see you again?”, and he laughed, said no, and then said that he had no travel plans until March for work so he’ll be around. So, I guess that’s good? I sent him a message today, seeing what his plans were for the weekend and am trying to see if we can make plans for it or if he wants to hang out next week. Hopefully things will now go more smoothly and we can actually progress here.
The one thing that set me off a little, and maybe this is just a guy thing, was how he reacted when I told him about feeling bad for one of my friends. I had mentioned that a friend of mine from the gym came to a party with me and that I was feeling bad for him because his girlfriend had dumped him via text on Christmas. MMM asked how long they were dating and I replied that I wasn’t really sure, but at least a few months. He shrugged it off and said that he should be fine and get over it and that someday he’ll grow up and learn. I didn’t really know what he meant by it and I didn’t want to dwell too much on it right then, so I just shrugged and changed the subject.
So yea- I was hoping by now we could have had the exclusivity chat and what not, but I feel like the month long absence ruined that for now. On the flip side, I honestly don’t think he’s seeing anyone else anyway- mostly because he just doesn’t have the time. I know where he works, and it’s an hour commute from his home each way. And with all the activities he does with his friends/coworkers, I can tell that he just doesn’t have time to fit in multiple women. Here’s hoping anyway. Maybe after a few more dates that are closer together we’ll be able to have the chat and be able to move the relationship along.
Are You Friggin' Kidding Me? 