Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

Cast of Characters

Here are the men who have come into my life in some capacity since I’ve moved to Boston. They’re in order of when I met them, which is a little hazy, but you’ll get the idea.

Love of My Life: This is actually one of my best friends of all time, that I met during my time in the Army. We joke that we’re the loves of each other lives and are each other’s back up plans.

Mr. Eyebrows: An extremely socially inept boy with crazy eyebrows. Thankfully, we never met.

The Gender-Fluid Guy: A guy whose sexual identity confused the hell out of me.

The Not-Boyfriend: A boy that was more than a fling, but not quite my boyfriend. We met my first week in Boston and were on and off until May 2012.

The Guy Who Just Won’t Give Up: I’ve never gone out with this guy and I never will. At one time, I thought that I would, but after a year of harassing messages online about how I never make time for him, I’ve run far far away from him.

The Baseball Date: I went against everything I’ve ever said and went out with this ginger guy that I was not attracted to, only because he seemed funny. He ended up taking me to a Red Sox-Yankees game, behind home plate, which for me is HUGE. However, he ended up being a creep. We’re still friends, but no way will I ever let it go beyond that.

Jacoby Ellsbury Boyfriend: An organist that I never got to meet, due to him meeting someone else before me. However, he looked a lot like Jacoby Ellsbury.

The Flight Attendant: Yup, I went out with a flight attendant. I probably killed his self esteem when I pushed him away and screamed when he tried to kiss me at the end of our extremely awkward ice cream date. I also broke his car. It was one of my more awkward dates.

The Stalker:  More of a Stage 5 Clinger than a stalker, but a creepy guy that I met while drunk who was desperate and never gave up for months.

The Chef: Also known as the Mexiasian among some of my friends. This guy was HOT and smart and funny. However, he wasted too much of my time just chatting with me online. We hung out 2-3 times, I met his friends and they loved me, etc etc. I run into him every now and then at our gym and it’s always awkward. Too bad.

The Guy I Met on Halloween: Title says it all. I was drunk at a bar in a skanky Halloween costume. He and I chatted it up, made out, texted a bit for a few days after he begged me to let him take me out sometime. We never went out.

The Yes-Man: A one time only event. Good looking guy, Jewish, liked baseball. LOUD and agreed with EVERYTHING I said, even if I said “My name is Steve”.

The Baseball Player: HOT HOT HOT. Semi-pro baseball player who looks remarkably like Paul Rudd. Started off fairly innocently, but went off the deep end quickly. We still try to see each other every now and then, but it’s just for fun. Nothing serious between the two of us.

The Guy with the Cat: Pretty cute guy that I chatted with online and through texting for a few days. Stood me up twice…for his cat.

The Boxing Instructor: A guy that I met up with for a date, but ended up just becoming friends. He introduced me to the Muay Thai gym that I have been going to for the past year.

The Guy Who’s Leaving: Really nice and pretty cute MIT PhD. candidate. Told me on our first date that he was planning on moving across the world after he graduated in the next 3 months. Kept things friendly-casual with him.

The Swede: Adorable (and semi famous) Swedish man who was in town for a weekend and asked me to give him a tour of the city. We spent the entire day together, while I showed him everything that I love about Boston. We’re still good friends and keep in touch.

The Cop: A douchebag cop that I luckily never met.

The DJ: A DJ that I hooked up with after meeting through twitter. We had a falling out, but are back to being just regular friends. No benefits.

#SecretCrush: A guy that I practice Muay Thai with. We’re actually good friends, but I secretly crush on him.

The Annoyance: A guy that I set up a date with and cancelled within a few hours due to his insane amount of annoying text messages.

The Trapeze Guy: An incredibly hot piano player who was also a flying trapeze instructor.

Jeff Goldblum Boyfriend: A gamer nerd that was IDENTICAL to Jeff Goldblum.

The Engineer: A crazy hot engineer that was really awkward about setting up a date, but we ended up getting to meet and then fell asleep on each other on my couch.

The Over-Sexter: A guy who only wanted to sext before I ended up scaring him away with some crazy sext messages.

Another Engineer: An engineer that I met up with who I was actually kinda into, only he couldn’t take all of my awesomeness.

The Rugby Player: A rugby player who was little too clingy and feminine for my taste.

Baby Bender: An ADORABLE guy that I went out with a few times on some of the funnest dates ever. Looked a lot like my college friend, Bender.

Mini Marky Mark: A guy I met at a bar during a friend’s birthday bash in November 2012. Still going strong for now.


3 thoughts on “Cast of Characters

  1. Hey just so you know I went in ok Cupid because of your suggestion. First online dating experience and it turned out well. Didn’t turn into a skin suit hahaha. Anyways I’m writing an article on my first experience. Thanks for the suggestion:)

  2. Congrats you’ve been nominated for the Inspirational Blogger Award!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s