As I’ve mentioned, I’ve jumped back into the BDSM world and have been more active with my FetLife account. Fetlife, first of all, is pretty great because it’s not an actual dating site. It’s really just a sort of social media networking site for a niche group. However, if you use it to meet people, all the better.
Anyway, I have a minimalist profile. I have a few photos, none of my face, but of my mouth and a little cleavage. Nothing too revealing, just sexy enough to get attention without showing off everything. My profile says that I’m interested in learning more and finding a Daddy-Dom type personality. I get messages from some real creeps sometimes, but lately I’ve had a couple that seemed interesting.
One was from a guy that I refer to as The Therapist. His profile was minimal, like mine, but we had a nice conversation on the site. He was born and raised in Dorchester (swoon!) and still lives there. He’s working on his Ph.D. and is a Daddy-Dom. He was very nice in his messaging and not creepy at all. After a few days of chatting, we decided to meet up for a drink.
I ended up being a little late, since I opted at last minute to be a hair model for one of my friends who’s in cosmetology school. He was totally cool with it, despite my over apologizing. He was slightly embarrassed for being over dressed (he was still wearing a suit from work), but he looked fine. Very cute.
We had a great discussion about psycho analysis and how the brain works. He works at a prison as a therapist and I found it extremely fascinating, since I majored in criminology. We chatted about that, Boston sports, and he tried to analyze me. He found me difficult to figure out, saying “nothing about you makes sense”, which he seemed to like. After a chatting for awhile about “vanilla subjects”, he turned and started asking me what I was looking for and telling me what he was looking for. We talked about Dom/Sub relationships and why each of us is the way we are. It seemed like we were pretty compatable and he wanted to see me again. We left the bar, he kissed me, and we went our separate ways.
Date 2 was a few days later. I went to his neighborhood in Dorchester (have I mentioned that I love this area of Boston?) and we grabbed a drink at this Irish (duh) pub. He was a little extra flirty, putting his arm on my chair to sort of tell the other guys at the bar that I was “his”, so to speak. He suggested we go to his apartment to “watch a movie or something”. I’m not stupid, I know what this means, but sure, why the hell not?
His apartment was pretty awesome. We settled on watching Major League in his room. We cuddled and we started to make out. After getting a little handsy, I stopped to tell him that we couldn’t have sex that night. He seemed perfectly okay with that and asked me if I wanted to stop altogether. I said no, but it just couldn’t go any further. He accepted that and we went on our way to fooling around. I can see where his dominance comes out, even if I could tell he was holding back. I asked if he wanted to stop, since I was basically just a big tease for him, and he said “No, I can handle this. If it’s too much, I’ll stop, but you made yourself clear and I don’t want to push you into anything”. Alright. After awhile, he drove me home, held my hand in the car, kissed me goodnight, and off I went.
Date 3 was two days later. He came over to my apartment after work. We settled on a movie in my room, where we proceeded to fool around again. Clothes started coming off and I stopped everything to drop my H Bomb on him. He looked a little stunned, I hate having to drop that news on someone during the act, but I had a hard time figuring it into conversation before things went down, and it had to come out sooner than later. He told me he didn’t know a lot about it and that he would like to do a little research. I told him to take his time, that I wasn’t trying to pressure him. I just wanted him to know so he could make his own informed decision. He asked if we could still fool around, that he wasn’t expecting us to have sex that night anyway, and I said yes. So the night still went pretty well, even if there’s a blip on the radar now.
He told me on his way out that the week would be really busy for him, which is understandable as he works full time and is a doctorate student. I told him that I would be fine, that I had a lot of things going on, too (playoffs, baby!), so not to worry about me.
We texted the next day, but I haven’t heard from him since. I’m not taking it personally yet, but if he wants to see me, he’ll message me. I like him, but I’m not overly attached to him. He’s a great guy who is super smart and sweet. I know our sex life would be a blast. However, I don’t really understand what he wants in our relationship anyway. I don’t know if he’s looking for a girlfriend who likes kink, or if he just wants someone to fuck around with. Either one works for me, but I’m not exactly sure yet, so I don’t mind that it’s a slow process for now. And it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to sleep with me after the bomb I dropped on him. I know I wouldn’t really want to. So I guess for now, we’ll just see how this plays out.