Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

Well that blew up in my face


So on Friday, I went out with Bag Buddy and another one of our friends to this bar downtown. While he stayed sober, I was very un-sober. He decided that THAT was the perfect time to tell me that basically he’s not interested in starting anything up with me. He went on and on about how he’s “messed up” and how I wouldn’t want that and that he’s not ready to be in a relationship. Oh- my favorite was “I said I liked you, not that I wanted to date you.”


So yea. We had that mini fight at the bar (so awful looking that some guy bought us shots because while I looked so pretty, everyone could tell I was super sad and he was being a complete DOUCHE. 


My friend drove us back to my place where Bag Buddy parked his car. I refused to talk to him as I went inside. The next morning, I had a text-fest with my BFF from the gym, explaining what had happened. She was really confused by it, too, since she knew the whole story beforehand. 

Around 12, Bag Buddy called me to talk. He couldn’t understand how I was so upset and why I expected there to be anything between us. I told him that I wasn’t upset that he didn’t want to date me- I was upset because he came out of nowhere, made me change everything I was doing, and was just going to peace out. He thinks he knows that it’ll end and end poorly, but I explained that he couldn’t know that because I’m not anything like the 19 year olds he’s used to dating.

By the end of the long phone discussion, he still didn’t understand where I was coming from and I just completely shut down. I had nothing else to say and he just wasn’t getting it. Then he got paranoid, because I told him that I had already told my friend about it. He asked what I told her and I said that I just told her what happened. He asked “YOUR version, or what actually happened?” Didn’t that piss me off. I’m not one of those girls that exaggerates stories like that- c’mon.

So I guess after we hung up, he started texting her to try to clear his name. She tried to explain to him why I was so hurt. He knows that I’m hurt and wants to be there, as a friend, to make me feel better- which obviously he can’t do since he’s the one that hurt me. He didn’t get it, but she thinks he may understand a little bit more now. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow at the gym.


So, um, so much for that. 


Author: Jane Champagne

I'm a single late 20s chick, living in Boston. I go on a lot of horrible dates, but some good ones, too.

14 thoughts on “Well that blew up in my face

  1. What a dick. And he’s clearly immature if he can’t understand why you’re upset.

  2. Ugh THIS IS SO INFURIATING!!! He tells you he likes you, but then tells you he doesn’t want anything with you. If you ask me, sounds like he’s scared, especially with the whole making up excuses thing. $10 says if you were to go for another guy, it would bug the hell out of him!! I’m sorry this happened!! 😦 Guys suck!!

    • On behalf of guys, Leslie, most of us would not have behaved this way. It’s unfortunate that things went the way they did. But, JC, this is one of those situations where you REALLY are better off to be able to move on now than after wasting a bunch more time with this dude.

    • It really is infuriating, but I’m bouncing back pretty well from this. I had my day to cry it out and my day to be angry. I’m assuming he’ll be in class tomorrow night and I’ll make it through that (maybe get to punch him a few times) and then things should be fine. But yea, he’s going to regret this HARD soon. Popular opinion is that he’s bipolar and he’s in a low right now and pushing everyone away. Oh well.

      • Well I’m glad you’re coping well. I hope you did get your chance to punch him, that would have been nice!! I’m convinced that a lot of men in their mid to late 20’s are fearful for whatever reason. It’s frustrating, but I guess that’s just how our generation is. Hopefully we can both find men who aren’t so cowardly!!

  3. Oh wow, did not expect that. He seemed so sweet, too!

  4. His lose! 🙂

  5. Holy shit, what the hell… That’s pretty fucking messed up. I agree with andyseher here. Better this happened sooner rather than later. What an ass.

  6. ughhhh… frustrating! Sorry that happened to you

  7. Pingback: So what’s going on, anyway? | Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

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