Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating


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In love and baseball

Well, the baseball season has finally started and The Yankee Fan and I couldn’t be more excited. Not only do we get all the baseball in the world to watch, but it means we get to go back to work at my beloved ballpark, together! I’m really looking forward to it.

That being said, obviously he and I have a slight rift in our relationship when it comes to our baseball loyalties. We’re very light hearted about it (I mean, he works at his rival ball park!). I watch Yankee games with him on Sox off-days and we only tease each other slightly. Since we’re both bigger fans of the actual sport, we appreciate our separate loyalties.

To make this season more interesting, we’re placing wagers on every Red Sox – Yankees series there is this season. We’d going to have some stakes, but we’re (or maybe it’s just me) having a hard time deciding what the stakes should be. I’d like to do something different for every series. I mean, we’ve got the basics, like wearing the opposite jersey, and stuff, but I’m at a loss for what else to do.

Keeping it clean (since I’d like to be posting the results on my baseball blog as well), what are some ideas we could use for our bets?


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Still going strong!

Hey guys!

Things are going very well for The Yankee Fan and me. We’re coming up on the 3-month “official” mark soon and things are still pretty great! We end up seeing each other just about every day, including a lot of sleepovers. We’re still honey-mooning big time, but at the same time, our relationship still feels mature. Everything is still very exciting and we do a lot of interesting things. We’ve gone to the symphony (with plans to go again soon), comedy shows, and a few concerts. We even going to Cooperstown, NY during my birthday weekend in May to go camping, see my VERY favorite band, and hit up the Baseball Hall of Fame!

Since we both work for the Red Sox, we also have that to look forward to doing together starting next week. It’s great.

Now that I’m in this relationship and I know that it’s real, it’s fun to look at how different it is compared to dating other dudes. He is completely 100% into me and I have no insecurities about it. I’m not worried when he’s not texting me, I’m not panicking or second guessing myself. And it’s not just because it’s been a few months. Even in the beginning, I was very calm about everything. It is a great feeling.

Even when he was gone for a week in the midwest, I had no worries. His band played some shows in Ohio and in Chicago and were gone for close to a week. I missed him a lot, and he missed me, but everything was fine. I did cry the night before he left, which was so silly (we were both laughing through it), but it was only because I’d miss him. We talked every day (through text and snaps- neither of us are big phone talkers) and we had a great reunion.

So there it is! ūüėÄ


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And finally, Lady J lands a boyfriend.

Well hello there dear readers. I’m sorry for the long absences, but I do come bearing great news! I have just recently started dating a really wonderful dude and things are going really well. Since things are legit, I don’t want to give all the details, but I will give you some of the story.

He and I met last April during the first homestand for the Red Sox. He works at the Park with me, in another department. We met through some mutual friends. Turns out we had a lot in common, so we became friends. He’s a musician (in a touring band, which is neat) who went to a certain special music school in New England. He’s absolutely hilarious and outgoing. He also loves baseball just as much as I do. His biggest downfall is pretty major though.

He’s a Yankees fan.

There’s a lot of playful banter between us, mostly because we’re silly, but also with our baseball loyalties. None of it is personal, which is good.

After spending a lot of time with him at work and hanging out with him a few times outside, I started thinking he might be into me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it and since I didn’t want to be in any weird situations, I tried to avoid anything of the sort. I always played off that I was seeing multiple guys on the side. I never made any advances. However, I also didn’t want to be so self centered that I thought a guy was into me just because he was friendly and nice. I went back and forth with this. At one point, when I was pining over Mr. Baseball, my roommate had told me that she thought that I was going to end up with the Yankee Fan.¬†We talked all the time, obsessively snap-chatted each other, and hung out frequently, but no moves were made.

It wasn’t until after the World Series that he and I spent more time together. I went to see his band perform and finally got to see him doing his thing. Honestly, that’s one of my favorite things to do- see people do whatever it is that they’re passionate about. Being a musician, I appreciated our long and in depth talks about music, so seeing him perform was just really great, for lack of better words. It made me see him a little differently, but at the time, I didn’t know it.

The next day was Santacon, which is my favorite pub crawl of the year. He had mentioned that he would try to meet up with me and my friends later in the day. We were texting back and forth and he finally admitted he was too tired to come out. I gave him a little crap for it and moved on. However, the following few days, I realized that I was actually really upset that he didn’t come out. I really wanted him to be with us while we partied and I was actually sad that he didn’t show up. I wasn’t sure what that meant, so I tossed the feelings aside.

Moving along, I had a Christmas party at a friend’s house the following weekend. It was in the Yankee Fan’s neighborhood, and since I had kind of wanted someone (mainly him) to come with me, I invited him. He was interested, but said he’d get back to me since he was going to see his friends perform at some club. Later, he decided that he would go with me to the party and then just duck out early for the show, which didn’t start until 11:30 or so anyway. We met up at the train that night and walked together, in a blizzard, to the party. We ended up kind of sticking to ourselves, without being completely anti social, and totally looked like a couple. In my head, I pretended that we were to see how it felt. I didn’t hate it and decided that I was open to see what would happen. He asked me if I wanted to go with him to the show downtown, and I went with him.

Long story short, we got drunk at the club with his friends and roommates and then went back to his apartment. Everyone, aside from myself, was too drunk to get home, so I navigated the taxis to the Yankees Fan’s house. His roommate (also my friend) begged me to stay over, saying I could sleep anywhere and we’d all get breakfast in the morning. What ended up happening was the roommate falling asleep on one couch, while the Yankee Fan and I fell asleep on each other on the love seat.

In the morning, he woke up and said he was going to move to his bed and said I could come with him if I wanted. I followed him and we ended up just cuddling all morning. We started getting handsy, though not pervy, and he asked me if that was me trying to say I wanted to fool around. I said no and we both stopped. However, our faces were so close that I just wanted to kiss him and see what would happen. I could tell he seemed a little rejected from not wanting to hook up, so I knew he wasn’t going to make the move. I got over my nerves and kissed him and it turned into this big magical makeout session.

Fast forward to now: We’ve hung out several times in the past month including my gym’s Christmas party, sleepover at my house, going shopping for Christmas presents for his family, seeing Frozen together, a week of long distance snap chats during the holidays, a hilarious and drunken New Years Eve (where we ended up just making out the entire night), and some hockey games at Fenway. We’ve had a few sleepovers, but no sex yet, since he’s still a little nervous about the whole thing.

However, we did have the talk and he is officially 100% my boyfriend and nothing could be better. He’s very sweet (he likes to cook me dinner) and hilarious (all we do is laugh). He’s friends with my friends and I’m friends with his. He doesn’t want to rush things. He’s too awkward to be playing me. He’s a few years younger (Cougar Status!). He’s just a really awesome guy and I’m really, very happy right now.


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I’m exhausted, but I’ve neglected this blog for too long. I’ll try to catch you up with some bullet points.

– The Therapist. Well, basically, after the third date when I dropped the bomb on him, I never heard back from him. The sad part is that I didn’t even realize it for 2-3 weeks because I was so focused on watching and following the baseball playoffs. No joke, I was more concerned with who the Red Sox would be be playing and all the chaos of working the World Series. So yea, no more Therapist.

– Speaking of baseball, HOLY SHIT THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES. I could go on and on about it, but that’s not what this blog is for. Basically, my life has been so centered around it, so that’s been it, really. I haven’t bothered dating, because for right now, it’s not that important to me.

– I’m really just stuck on Mr. Baseball, still. *sigh* Hopefully someday it’ll work out.


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The Therapist

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve jumped back into the BDSM world and have been more active with my FetLife account. Fetlife, first of all, is pretty great because it’s not an actual dating site. It’s really just a sort of social media networking site for a niche group. However, if you use it to meet people, all the better.

Anyway, I have a minimalist profile. I have a few photos, none of my face, but of my mouth and a little cleavage. Nothing too revealing, just sexy enough to get attention without showing off everything. My profile says that I’m interested in learning more and finding a Daddy-Dom type personality. I get messages from some real creeps sometimes, but lately I’ve had a couple that seemed interesting.

One was from a guy that I refer to as The Therapist. His profile was minimal, like mine, but we had a nice conversation on the site. He was born and raised in Dorchester (swoon!) and still lives there. He’s working on his Ph.D. and is a Daddy-Dom. He was very nice in his messaging and not creepy at all. After a few days of chatting, we decided to meet up for a drink.

I ended up being a little late, since I opted at last minute to be a hair model for one of my friends who’s in cosmetology school. He was totally cool with it, despite my over apologizing. He was slightly embarrassed for being over dressed (he was still wearing a suit from work), but he looked fine. Very cute.

We had a great discussion about psycho analysis and how the brain works. He works at a prison as a therapist and I found it extremely fascinating, since I majored in criminology. We chatted about that, Boston sports, and he tried to analyze me. He found me difficult to figure out, saying “nothing about you makes sense”, which he seemed to like. After a chatting for awhile about “vanilla subjects”, he turned and started asking me what I was looking for and telling me what he was looking for. We talked about Dom/Sub relationships and why each of us is the way we are. It seemed like we were pretty compatable and he wanted to see me again. We left the bar, he kissed me, and we went our separate ways.

Date 2 was a few days later. I went to his neighborhood in Dorchester (have I mentioned that I love this area of Boston?) and we grabbed a drink at this Irish (duh) pub. He was a little extra flirty, putting his arm on my chair to sort of tell the other guys at the bar that I was “his”, so to speak. He suggested we go to his apartment to “watch a movie or something”. I’m not stupid, I know what this means, but sure, why the hell not?

His apartment was pretty awesome. We settled on watching Major League in his room. We cuddled and we started to make out. After getting a little handsy, I stopped to tell him that we couldn’t have sex that night. He seemed perfectly okay with that and asked me if I wanted to stop altogether. I said no, but it just couldn’t go any further. He accepted that and we went on our way to fooling around. I can see where his dominance comes out, even if I could tell he was holding back. I asked if he wanted to stop, since I was basically just a big tease for him, and he said “No, I can handle this. If it’s too much, I’ll stop, but you made yourself clear and I don’t want to push you into anything”. Alright. After awhile, he drove me home, held my hand in the car, kissed me goodnight, and off I went.

Date 3 was two days later. He came over to my apartment after work. We settled on a movie in my room, where we proceeded to fool around again. Clothes started coming off and I stopped everything to drop my H Bomb on him. He looked a little stunned, I hate having to drop that news on someone during the act, but I had a hard time figuring it into conversation before things went down, and it had to come out sooner than later. He told me he didn’t know a lot about it and that he would like to do a little research. I told him to take his time, that I wasn’t trying to pressure him. I just wanted him to know so he could make his own informed decision. He asked if we could still fool around, that he wasn’t expecting us to have sex that night anyway, and I said yes. So the night still went pretty well, even if there’s a blip on the radar now.

He told me on his way out that the week would be really busy for him, which is understandable as he works full time and is a doctorate student. I told him that I would be fine, that I had a lot of things going on, too (playoffs, baby!), so not to worry about me.

We texted the next day, but I haven’t heard from him since. I’m not taking it personally yet, but if he wants to see me, he’ll message me. I like him, but I’m not overly attached to him. He’s a great guy who is super smart and sweet. I know our sex life would be a blast. However, I don’t really understand what he wants in our relationship anyway. I don’t know if he’s looking for a girlfriend who likes kink, or if he just wants someone to fuck around with. Either one works for me, but I’m not exactly sure yet, so I don’t mind that it’s a slow process for now. And it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to sleep with me after the bomb I dropped on him. I know I wouldn’t really want to. So I guess for now, we’ll just see how this plays out.


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My personal history with BDSM

This is the first post of my BDSM series. It’s just a little history of my interest in BDSM. I hope you enjoy it and please, no judgement. I’m trying to give you all some details without going too far down the rabbit hole. This is not my best writing by far, but it’s at least a little bit about me. I’m also not claiming to be an expert or to be extremely experienced.¬†

My interest in BDSM started with two different guys. One, oddly enough, is the LomL. The other was a boy that I chatted with for years, but never ended up hooking up with despite both of us always wanting to. I’ll call him The Brit, since he’s from the UK.

Basically, all there is to The Brit is that he was a GORGEOUS soccer player at a college near my home town. We talked all the time. It turned into more of just sexting and it was ALWAYS super dirty. Raunchy. But tamer than what LomL had in store for me.

LomL brought me into his world of BDSM when he told me about his sex life with his ex girlfriend. At first, I was appalled when he told me he slapped her before a blow job. I remember thinking that I would never be into that. (However, back when he came to visit me, we engaged in such activities and it was fantastic.)

I honestly don’t know how that all changed. I really think that with enough alcohol and being horny enough, I let him talk me through it online or something. I just asked a lot of questions and he was honest with me.

Now for my own personal life, I had always been into rougher sex. I got bored if it was super slow or soft. I don’t know. I guess that has a time and place, and maybe it’s because I’ve never been “in love” with someone to experience the whole “making love” thing. I just always liked sex to be fast and hard. Spanking had been the next thing to be added to the mix. Then hair pulling. It started becoming part of the game with a couple guys I frequently hooked up with in college. They’d take control and push me against a wall when I was alone at a party (this would all be semi-pre-planned. They didn’t do this if I didn’t agree to meet up with them). They’d kiss me, pull onto my hair, and pull me into a room for our next activities. Add some nails, teeth, etc, of course.

In college, that was as far as I went. Then I dated this guy who requested that I call him by Daddy during sex. I tried it out and it wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. I don’t know, I guess I can separate “Daddy” from my actual Dad (I don’t ever refer to him as daddy anyway). Maybe I have daddy issues. Who knows. Anyway, I kinda liked calling him daddy while he took control in the bedroom.

It branched from there. I hooked up with a guy that I had been flirting with for a few weeks. I called him daddy and turns out he loved it as well. He had never been called that so, yay me.

As time went on, I ventured more into watching hardcore/rough sex porn. I had always wanted to try to be tied up and have no control over the situation (no, not a rape scenario. All consensual, obviously). I was getting more interested in the toys.

However, I have never been into the “crazier” things as I call them. Things like suspension and fisting. No thanks.

Anyway, I moved to Boston and reconnected with one of my high school friends. I quickly found out that he was into the BDSM/Fetish scene here and met a few of his friends. I admitted to him that I was interested in maybe attending some parties, but as an observer, since I had a lot to learn.

Then I ended up hanging out with The Chef. After our second time out, I ended up back at his place for some fooling around. He was the first boy to slap me. It wasn’t hard at all. I mean, it wasn’t soft either, but it didn’t hurt me. I don’t know how to explain it, but it turned me on more.

Soon after The Chef, I met The Baseball Player, who I often refer to as my first Dom. He has his own rules he wanted me to follow and I was thrilled to have the chance to please him. It was weird to feel that way, since that’s not how I normally am. However, he was so sexy and I just wanted to be with him so badly. And every time with him is absolutely amazing. His rules aren’t crazy. And honestly, if I don’t follow them, it’s not like anything happens for real. Basically, I’m not supposed to sleep with anyone but him (he stays monogamous, too, supposedly), I refer to him as Daddy when I’m with him, but call him by his name when I come. If I come when he’s not with me, I’m still supposed to call out his name. He is in total control when he’s with me and I do what he tells me to do.

So yes, in a way, he’s my very own Christian Grey, for all your 50 Shades fans. And I guess in some ways, I’m kind of an Ana, but in a much cooler way.

He punished me one time. I wasn’t allowed to come. That’s actually a pretty awful punishment when he’s around.

So, sometimes I think he reads my mind because he always appears out of nowhere. I hadn’t heard from him in the past year, so I figured he went and got a for real girlfriend. When I started reading 50 Shades about 2 weeks ago, I started remembering our time together and started to miss him. Even more than just sex-he was a fun guy to hang out with. We both enjoy baseball immensely and have a lot of other common interests. And he’s a pretty nice guy, even if he likes to control me from afar (sometimes he’ll text me with a mission- usually a dirty picture with a sign so he knows I did it right when he said he did).

Anyway, after reading the books, I shot in the dark and sent him a text message. I didn’t hear back, so I figured that was that. The next afternoon though, I got a text from him. This was last Friday. He said that he needed to see me that night. So we made it happen.

And we made up for lost time, that’s for sure. I have a box of costumes (mostly because I love ANYTHING that involves a costume) so I had put together a revealing school girl/naughty librarian outfit for him. He took control the second he walked into the door and it was amazing.

He had actually lived pretty far away from the city in the past year, explaining his absence. He know lives a few minutes away, so I’m hoping our little relationship will continue for a bit. I had mentioned to him before that I wouldn’t mind trying more hardcore things. He told me he can be “pretty brutal” and he doesn’t want to push me into it. I’m willing to at least try it. We’ll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I belong to an online social networking site called FetLife.com. I stay fairly anonymous on there, but I do talk to people with the intent to meet up with them. I keep things very “vanilla” to start. I have yet to hook up with anyone from the site, but who knows. Maybe some day. It’s just an interesting way to research other fetishes that I don’t know about and to talk to people that understand.

I guess the reason why I like BDSM and being a submissive in the bedroom is mostly due to my natural behavior. I’m very independent. I’m also a tomboy and am very strong willed. I’m usually in charge of most things. It’s fun to just NOT be in control for a little while. Someone just telling me what to do, it just feels good. Just for a little while. And the best part is that it benefits me, too. I mean, it’s not like it’s just for him to get off (unless I’m being punished). He wants me to feel good, too. It’s fun for both of us. And that’s what’s important in this lifestyle.

So yea, that’s my sort of history. I’m sure I’m missing a ton. I’m sure you may have some questions and comments. Have at it!


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Adventures in BDSM

Well, this post will probably make me somewhat popular.

 

Anyway, my roommate and long time friend has given me a sort of request for this blog. I’m pretty open and honest with her about my sex life, when we’re both gossiping anyway. So she knows that I’ve ventured into the BDSM world and is always very curious about it. I actually am good friends with quite a few people from “the scene” and it’s always great to answer her questions and show her that it’s an honest, fun time.

As interested in BDSM as I am, I actually abstained from reading 50 Shades of Grey for a long time. Not because it was horribly written (it’s fan-fic, it’s not supposed to be well-written), but because I knew that it was going to tell me nothing that I didn’t already know (why read it when I can live it?) and it would also just leave me wanting my old dom which would make me sad.¬†Now that they’ve cast for the movie, I find myself slightly curious, mostly because I can’t figure out how they’re going to make it NOT be a porn. I decided that finally I would read the books. For free, online, of course. Not paying for those.

I’ve finished the first book and have already sat down with my friend and discussed some of my praises and concerns with the story. She gave me the idea that I kind of do a few themed posts on BDSM and the world around it.

I love the idea. 

 

Now, I’m not going to turn this blog into smut. I’m not going to give you all the erotic details (unless you want to chat privately, that is). I’m not going put up tutorials or images of porn. I’m just going to tell you people (who I’m assuming are on the more vanilla side of things) what it’s like to venture into BDSM and whatnot. I want to take the experiences that the characters in the book experience and tell you how it is like in real life, show you that we’re all just regular people, and that’s it’s an honest fun, sexy time. I promise to not make this trash.

 

All that being said, what do you think? Is there anything in particular you’d like me to talk about?¬†