Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating


Some catching up

Mr. Baseball is still in the picture, I guess. I mean, we still chat and I’m still very VERY much interested in him. It’s just tiring though. He lives 2 hours away and works even more than I do. I want to hang out with him so much, but it’s impossible to pin him down. He’s texting less now, but I attribute that to him being busy. He says he likes me and that he’s not tired of me, and I’ll take that literally for now. I feel that’s the easiest way to go about dating- I try to take men literally. Much better for my head if I don’t over think things. 

So for now, I guess I’ll keep my options open. I’ve started looking a little more on OKCupid and even on FetLife (oh yea, buddy, it’s super fun). I’m starting to feel a little lonely and wanting to feel excited about dating. It’s hard though, knowing someone so RIGHT for me is unattainable right now. I’d like to hold a torch for him, but I don’t want to miss out on something right here if he’s not going to hold it back for me.

That being said, life is crazy busy. I’m trying to land a new day job since mine is stressing me out to the max. Fenway is still as amazing as ever. And I mean that- amazing. I’m glad that I’ve had that to keep me company all summer. I haven’t really felt all that lonely because Fenway is like my own kind of boyfriend. I love that building so much and everything in it. I’m swept off my feet every night that I’m there. I love everything there and it loves me back. It’s only been recently that I’ve started to feel lonely, what with the season dying down and meeting Mr. Baseball (and not being able to keep him). I’m hoping that I’ll be able to find something to fill up the time I’ll miss when the baseball season is over. We’ll see. 



Mr. Baseball, vol 2

Hi all!

Mr. Baseball had our first date, FINALLY. We texted nonstop (against my own rules, but whatever) until he left his house for mine. I was sitting on my third floor porch when I saw him pull up, but I just sat up there, pretending not to notice. I’m so awkward like that. He walked up to my house and then yelled up to me “I know you’re up there”. I laughed and looked over the railing and he was downstairs waving at me.

Okay, that sounds sketchy when I say it like that, out of the complete context.

So backup- he and I have this wonderfully flirty and funny banter back and forth. I assure you that that it wasn’t creepy at all.


Anyway, I skipped downstairs and he greeted me with this big smile and giant hug. It was so nice to finally FINALLY meet him. I was glad that so far, I had not been catfished.

We walked to the T to head to Fenway. We talked nonstop on the way there. This was so awesome- it was like we’d always known each other. There was no awkward transition from texting to talking in real life.

And he was completely adorable in real life, too.

We got to Fenway and I took him on a mini tour of the Park. He’d been there before, but never on the Green Monster. I loved being able to take him around and kinda show off how awesome I am and at the same time, it was fun to see him so excited about it. I always love showing people the Park.

We grabbed food and then went to our seats. I introduced him to a few of my friends/coworkers that we ran into along the way. He was very sweet. I kept teasing him for wearing a Red Sox shirt (he’s a Rays fan, so it was painful for him) and got one of the Fan Foto guys to take a photo of us for the Red Sox site. I tease him by saying I’m going to buy it so I can laugh at him. 

Anyway, we ended up moving to some nicer seats, thanks to my friend who is an usher in a premium area. It was great to watch the game with someone who loves it as much as I do. It was also fun because we just talked the whole time and already had inside jokes and everything. 

This is all so crazy, because it was the first time we had met. If you saw us that night, it’s like we’d known each other a long, long time. 

After the game, we headed back towards my neighborhood. We ended up standing outside my house for almost an hour, just talking. We even had hugged and said good night at one point…and then continued to talk for another 20 minutes. We hugged again and he headed off home. He did send me a text soon after saying how happy he was to meet me and to discover that I wasn’t catfishing him. 


Honestly, I’m really digging this guy (no shit, right?). It’s a little nuts, because we haven’t hung out again yet, due to our schedules and the distance between us. He’s in process of being hired at a job that would move him closer to me, but it’s still up in the air I guess. 

The best part is that he’s into me as well. We still talk nonstop. The flirting is a little thicker, but it still hasn’t crossed the line at all. He’s very, very sweet, but not so sweet that it’s disgusting. 


So I guess for now, we just ride it out and see where it goes. 


Mr. Baseball

Holy crap, you guys. I am suddenly and unexpectedly back in action. I’m also so excited about this, that I’m writing this way before I should. However, the way things are going, I’d have too much to write about by the time our date rolls around NEXT WEEK. Anyway, here it goes.


I got a bling from OKCupid that a guy with a high match percentage was looking at my profile last Thursday night around midnight. I was just getting ready for bed, but took a second to check it out. He had a lot in his profile that I didn’t take the time to read since I was so tired, but I saw that he was pretty cute and with a 95% match, I decided to bookmark him for the next day. I rated him 5 stars and received a message that he had rated me high as well. Even though I planned to do so the next day, I sent a quick message saying “Hi! We match pretty high, so you must be cool” basically. He messaged me back, said the same, and I told him that I only wanted to say hi quickly before I went to bed and that I would message him in the morning. He commented that he liked that I liked baseball and looked forward to chatting later.

The next morning, I read his profile and totally swooned. This guy is straight up hilarious and is even more obsessed with baseball than me. We had a lot of things in common and I was so glad I chose to look at him the night before. I wrote to him and we started chatting. After about an hour, we switched to texting.

We haven’t stopped chatting yet.

Mostly we chat about baseball and light hearted stuff. It hasn’t turned into anything inappropriate at all. It’s 100% clean and friendly, but still on the flirty side. We’re both really digging each other and are super pumped to meet up.

Downfall is that he lives about an hour away with a weird work schedule, so that makes things a little difficult for now. We do have our first date set for next Thursday. I got us free tickets to the Red Sox game (even though he HATES the Red Sox. Die hard Rays fan. He couldn’t be 100% perfect!), so we’re going to be going to that and grabbing milkshakes.

Despite his pure hatred of the Red Sox, he bought a Red Sox shirt to wear to the game. It’s of course a player shirt of a player that played for the Rays before the Sox, but the fact that he bought a Red Sox shirt for me kills me.

Soooo yea. Fingers crossed!

1 Comment

Oh hey fellow daters

I miss you people. More than I miss actually going on dates and stuff. 

So in order to revive Miss Jane Champagne and her active dating life, I’ve teamed up with the peeps over at The Urban Dater. I connected with them a long time ago, but will actually be writing under this pen name over there.

Since I like that this blog is about actual dates and specific experiences, I’m going to keep it that way. I’ll write some of those stories over there, but it’ll probably be more generalized, like inner ramblings about dating and relationships. 

So you all should check the site out and follow it. There’s some good stuff there. 


Guy got BOLD

Last night, I went out to celebrate America with a couple of gym friends. A bunch of their friends came with them, so I got to meet a whole bunch of new people. There was one guy in the group that I was kind of curious about, but not so curious that I was trying to get to him. I wasn’t planning on staying out much later after the fireworks, and I wasn’t going to be drinking much anyway, so I didn’t want to go down that road for the evening. I was sure I’d meet him again another time, since we have mutual friends.

Anyway, as we watched the fireworks from the top of Boston (We have the best 4th of July here, I mean, we only INVENTED America, haha), we decided on what bar to hit up afterwards. I noticed that this guy (I don’t even have a name for him. Maybe the Bold One? I don’t know.) just seemed odd. He really didn’t give a fuck about anything. Little too free spirited/self centered for me. Does that even make sense? Whatever.

We moved on to a bar and he bought a handful of beers. I was in the right spot at the right time and he gave me one. Rock on.

I chatted up with all of the people in the group, except for the Bold One, mostly because he sat there silently, drinking his beers. Everyone else was outgoing and talkative, so it was hard for me to really reach him.

Eventually, we had this not-so-awkward eye contact moment, and just made this hilarious face at each other, which then opened the door for him to sit next to me. This is literally the conversation we had:

Him: “What’s your name again?”

Me: “Jane. Yours?”

Him: “(name.) Where do you live?”

Me: “(town.)”

Him: “Well fuck this place, let’s go there. I’m very generous.”

Me: “Eh, I don’t think so. I have to work early tomorrow.”

Him: “I can wake up early. I want to eat your pussy.”

It went on a little after that. Me saying no, him begging. He got the memo, pouted for a bit at the other end of the table, and then tried again an hour later.

I’m not offended, mostly because, whatever, but I was just amazed that he just straight up got to the point. I was shocked, honestly. It would have been one thing had we been flirting beforehand and everything. I still would have said no, but I wouldn’t have been so shocked.

So yea, that was my night.




Baby Bender is leaving & Stupid Bitches hate me.

I had started writing this post, but realized there were too many details for such a “nothing happened” story. Basically, it’s another story where I went out and everyone in the group loved me, except for the jealous, insecure chick. 

Baby Bender is moving tomorrow and invited me to his going away party over the weekend. The girl who I have a feeling he’d been seeing recently (or maybe in the past, or maybe never, who knows) started off being alright with me. That is, until BB mentioned to his friend that I was going to NJ this summer for a concert and then he yelled to me across the table that I had to stay with him when I came down. 

She then started peacocking. She suddenly was the loudest and most obnoxious person I’d met. When the group wanted to go to a club before karaoke (to mine and BB’s dismay), she started asking if there was a pole at the club because she wanted to pole dance. Seriously? Then any time BB, or anyone else in the group for that matter, tried to talk to me, she’d interrupt. And if anyone was close to BB (not just me), she’d play this “well, I’ve known him for like 2 years so obviously I’m a better friend”.

Ugh, GTFO.

So we ended up at this karaoke place where you rent a room and sing in there, semi privately. I hate these places, but whatever. She had gone to the club while a small section of the group went to karaoke. BB and I were cuddling on the couch, singing horrible Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch karaoke when the rest of the group showed up. She and her girlfriends sang Taylor Swift’s 22 and I wanted to murder them. It was more awful than need me.

Also, they messed up the tv and programming system for the karaoke, which lead to me yelling at her and BB taking my side. BOOM BITCH.

BB and I ended the night with a little “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” and everyone loved it. She didn’t like how cozy we were and blurted out “HEY BB, WE SHOULD DO BREAKFAST”. He simply said “sure okay” and I shrugged it off. Whatever. Then I realized she meant leave right that minute to go get breakfast at some sleazy diner downtown.

Now, we were in my neck of the woods. The diner is way out of the way, but it’s near where both of them live (and some of the others from the group). BB tried to get me to go with them, but I had decided that I didn’t want to go all the way down there for horrible food, just to come all the way back to my hood. He thought about it and understood, saying that we needed to make sure to hang out before he left, which may not happened since that only leaves tonight.

Anyway, this stupid bitch has the smuggest smile on her face, but loses it when BB starts gushing about how fun and awesome I am to his friends. “She does Muay Thai, you shouldn’t fuck with her”, “She’s got awesome tattoos”, “She’s got the best job ever”, etc. She hated it. It was great.

I’m sorry that I’m fantastic and you’re boring. I can’t stand attention seeking bitches like that.