Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

The girl that every other girl hates

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There’s always that one girl that every guy just seems to LOVE no matter what she does and we all hate her for it. Every girl knows what I’m talking about here. One of my best friends was/is that girl and though I still love her very much, I used to get so frustrated. She was cute and smart and funny and athletic and guys would trip over themselves to be near her. She could keep up in any conversation and just seemed so confident. I was SURE she  knew what she was doing and that she knew these guys were swooning over her and that she ate it up. She was a maneater! It drove me insane!

I had even talked to her about it, after one guy became depressed because she wouldn’t date him. He felt led on and confused. Granted, that one particular boy was a special case, but my friend had NO idea that she was doing anything. In her eyes, she was being herself and just hanging out with people- regardless of gender. I didn’t buy it.

Well, now, after this past Saint Patrick’s Day, I’ve taken a whole new look at this.

So I went out for St. Patrick’s Day with 2 college friends. One is single (W) and the other (B) brought her boyfriend. The couple brought along some of their friends with them, including 2 girls and 3 guys. I had mentioned that a few of my friends would be showing up later, including Baby Bender (who never ended up coming out anyway). Either way, I wasn’t terribly interested in hooking up with any new guys while we were out that day, so I was fine to wait for Baby Bender to show up, get drunk with me, and most likely make out with me.

The whole group of us was milling about when one of the guys came over to me and started talking to me. He noticed that my tattoo was poking out through my t-shirt sleeve (it’s a rather large piece) and asked if he could see it. Mind you, this tattoo is completely gorgeous (I’ll share a pic sometime) and I’m used to people fawning over it once I reveal it. Naturally, he started complimenting the artwork and waved his buddies to come over and check out my ink. This started a conversation between me and the three guys about tattoos and my tattoo artist. I mentioned that I had another piece done by the same artist, but that it was hidden in my boot (it’s on my ankle). I showed them a picture of it on my phone and again they went nuts over it. This lead to a new conversation because it’s my Red Sox tattoo, which again, is completely stunning. I mentioned that I worked at Fenway Park and wrote for a Red Sox magazine, which then made me the coolest girl in the room.

After some more chatting about baseball, I noticed that the girls looked at me awkwardly, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I wasn’t flirting, just chatting, so I shrugged it off. And what did they care anyway? These guys were single and we were in a bar full of men! Go pick new ones if you think you struck out with these ones, sheesh. Anyway, 2 of the guys went over to chat with the girls (I don’t remember how that happened- my friends very may well have pulled them aside for whatever reasons) and that left one guy talking to me. We’ll call him Bruins Fan, since he had a Bruins hat on and I can’t really think of anything else to call him yet.

So Bruins Fan and I were talking and I mentioned that I practice Muay Thai. He got all excited, saying that he practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. We talked about our gyms and training. I name dropped a few of my teammates who fight in the UFC and most recently at Bellator and he basically just got super super jazzed. He called his friends back over and was like “Guys, she trains with Gannon and Doomsday!” And then that led a conversation on Mixed Martial Arts.

Oh and then it turns out that Bruins Fan is also in the Army, so there we go again- common interest that made us bond.

Basically, all afternoon, I was the center of attention of this group of guys.

Earlier, before all that conversation happened, I overheard my friend W talking to B about the guys in the group. She mentioned that she wanted to try to make out with “random hat guy”, who I’m assuming is Bruins Fan, but I have no idea. While I was talking to him, she motioned to me that I should try to hook up with him. I gave her a confused look and then mentioned to her that I really wasn’t looking to do anything, and that he and I were just talking.

However, as time went on that day, he and I talked more and decided to exchange numbers and go out for dinner sometime. Plans set for this weekend actually. Anyway, back to the story.

It became clear, to most of the group I assumed, that he and I were kinda digging each other. We sorta separated from the group a little bit and were drinking much more slowly than everyone else so that we could chat more. He was very sweet and really funny. And we had so much in common and he was really excited about it- “I can’t believe you actually know something about MMA and that you actually train in it- that’s so awesome”. However, my drunken friend W, who was looking for anything with a penis to make physical contact with, decided randomly to jump between us, grab his face, and just kiss him. I just laughed it off, and so did he, but it was MAJORLY awkward. Please note that moments later, she and B went home. Yea, totally awkward.

Anyway, after I thought about it, and knowing how W is when there are other women around (she’s always competing for male attention and blames everything in the world other than her own insecurity for losing out), I realized that I became my friend that I mentioned earlier. Or not that I became her, but I am finally confident in who I am and enjoy the way I am, that I’m not ashamed to talk to anyone about myself. Am I going to not talk about sports and crap because there are guys around that my girl friends are into? No way! Am I going to stop doing Muay Thai or pretend I never joined the Army? Nope. If anything, I would think that would make me a better wingwoman than anything. Let me break the ice with these guys for you.

As long as I’m not outwardly trying to break hearts, there is nothing wrong with being who I am. And now I totally understand how my friend didn’t know what she was doing subconsciously.

So, sorry bitches, but I ain’t sorry. You’re just going to have to deal with it or become more interesting.

“Jealousy is a sickness- get well soon!”

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Author: Jane Champagne

I'm a single late 20s chick, living in Boston. I go on a lot of horrible dates, but some good ones, too.

4 thoughts on “The girl that every other girl hates

  1. Get it girl! Your special and unique and either people will rise to meet your standards or they will be jealous of it, but there’s no shame in your game, can’t help that you’re one of a kind;)

  2. Is there a part of you that found the guys fawning over your tattoo a little desperate, or even contrived on their behalf? I’m not saying your tattoo is average, but i feel they were looking for something that could spark a conversation, the tattoo is a great ice breaker.

    I like what you said about your friend’s inability to judge herself. When people get let down, especially by the opposite sex they blame everything other than themselves. I believe this is to avoid introspection.

    • Of course the tattoo was an ice breaker. However, it wasn’t a desperate. They were genuinely interested in my tattoo and it led to a “show and tell” of tattoos around the group (other girls included). It may have started as a ploy to talk to me, but it didn’t end up being fake at all.

      And yes- throwing the blame around is definitely to avoid introspection.

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