Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

The Not-Boyfriend, vol. 2


So, here is the second installation of The Not-Boyfriend series. Please refer to this post for the first installment.

Months had passed since I received the email from The Not-Boyfriend without word from him. We were facebook friends, but he was hardly an active user. This made things easier for me because I wasn’t constantly checking his profile for changes. Time was passing and I wasn’t as sad anymore and I decided that after New Years, I’d send him a message and see if he wanted to grab a drink sometime- as friends. He was a fun guy and I liked being around him, and it wasn’t like we ended HATING each other. We’re adults, right?

His birthday is in December, so when it rolled around, I wrote on his facebook wall, like every other facebooker does. It was generic- “Happy birthday!” A few minutes later, I got a message from him on facebook! I literally screamed from my room, which made my roommates all nervous.

His message was cute and simple. Basically, a “Thanks! Long time no see! Hope you’re doing well!”. I responded appropriately and threw in a “hey wanna grab a drink or something sometime?” in the message. I figured he’d say yes to be nice, but that no actual plans would be made. I was shocked to get a message back saying that he’d love to and “How about Thursday?” I didn’t think we’d actually do it, but there it was.

We met up at this hipster bar (awkwardly enough, it’s the bar that Mini Marky Mark and I love to go to now), since we’re both lovers of PBR and free popcorn. He hugged me when we met up and then we went inside. It was a simple little meet up and I had no idea what it meant. We just chatted a little and he became obsessed with the fact that I’m friends with Adam from Real World: Las Vegas (yes, I really am- ask me about it if you’re really interested in knowing about it). After about an hour, he said that he needed to get going since he was flying home that weekend and still needed to pack. We hugged as we said goodbye, he told me that I smelled good, and that was that.

Fast forward to New Years Day. I had posted a facebook status around that time, asking if anyone wanted to watch the Winter Classic with me. I’m a Phildelphia Flyers fan when it comes to hockey, so I don’t have anyone to watch games with in Boston since they’re big rivals. I figured no one would volunteer, but was just going to watch at a bar by myself when the day came. However, I got a message from The Not-Boyfriend, saying that he’d love to watch the game with me even though he knew nothing about hockey. I was blown away and took him up on the offer. I asked him where he’d like to watch the game and he suggested ‘oh I hear there’s this baseball park in the city that has a bar or two nearby. ;)”

Oh, okay, you’re going to take me to Fenway and not expect me to swoon over you? Great.

So I met up with him at Fenway Park and we shuffled inside one of the bars that’s built into the park. It was pretty cool because the ice was on the field for Frozen Fenway and they had the gate open so we could see the field from the bar. We got the bartenders to put the game on for me and we sat there and had a couple drinks and watched the game. We talked about our holidays and caught up briefly. After the game, when we decided to head out, we had our goodbye hug outside the park. Our hugged turned into a kiss, which turned into a slight makeout session.

Really? What the hell is this?

We parted, and I had no idea what to make of anything.

We exchanged a few messages over the next week or two, innocently. The kiss was not brought up by either of us. Then I stupidly invited him over to watch the Patriots and Broncos game with me and my friends.

Except my friends and I weren’t watching the game. I made it up, expecting him to say no and we’d make different plans. Only he caught me off guard and said yes. He hates the Patriots, but hates Tim Tebow more, so he was looking for people to watch the game with to yell at Tebow. I became frantic because I couldn’t get people together for this game to save my life! I ended up just going to a bar for the game and had people go there for it. That way my non-athletic friends could just be at the bar, and he and I could watch the game, and he’d know nothing.

We all had a good time and decided to stay out and do karaoke. It was a fun/awkward time (the group was weird- weird dynamic) and then we went home. He had met up with me at my place, so he came over to grab his bike. He did come upstairs for a minute (I can’t remember the original reason), but when we were saying goodbye, we started kissing again.


My roommate ended up coming upstairs shortly after, which broke us up. I told him he didn’t have to leave right away if he didn’t want to. We ended up settling down on the couch and watched some tv and made out some more. We then ended up in my bedroom. I asked him a few times “are you sure you’re okay with this?” and he said he was. So we had sex. After cuddling for a little while afterwards, he left.

So here I am, all sorts of confused. Meanwhile, I’m still seeing The Baseball Player, who I was also head over heels for. I was into both guys, but didn’t know which direction I wanted to take. It was too early to have the exclusivity chat with either boy, but I decided that I would get The Not-Boyfriend out again and ask him what the hell was up with us. I decided that since he and I had a history and I was already into him, I’d go for him seriously first and then if that didn’t work, move on for good, to The Baseball Player.

I managed to get The Not-Boyfriend out again the following week for dinner. We had a great time at this wings place. As we were leaving, we were having our typical goodbye hug and make out session. After the kiss, I pulled away and asked him “So what is this anyway?”


He stumbled over a bunch of words, got a little teary eyed, and basically said that he had the same issues as before with me and that he still wasn’t sure if he could actually date me. He said that he really liked me and that the whole thing sucked, but he was too young to worry about my “issue”. I just stood there, slightly teary eyed, but managed to keep my cool. We hugged and he said “I guess I can’t kiss you anymore now”. I nodded, said goodbye, and walked off. I really had no words for him.

I came home and had a good cry, but then moved my efforts to the Baseball Player. Even though that didn’t work out either, it was a welcome distraction and a much better option for me to go for at the time.


Author: Jane Champagne

I'm a single late 20s chick, living in Boston. I go on a lot of horrible dates, but some good ones, too.

10 thoughts on “The Not-Boyfriend, vol. 2

  1. Nice post. I must admit though, it sounded like you WANTED to have sex that night. Otherwise why invite him into the bedroom? Nothing wrong with it. Her sounds like a decent guy from the way you describe him but he probably wanted to just have platonic sex and a good time hanging out. But when a guy has such a big impact on our emotions, its just really hard to do that. If he was interested, you wouldn’t have had to ask.

  2. I stumbled upon your blog through … luck, basically, and boy, am I glad I did! Your blog is amazing. You write really well, you have quite the adventures, and you’re the modern woman of today.

    Looking forward to more developments about MMM 😀

  3. Wait…please tell me there’s a Vol. 3?? I realize that this is probably fairly recent since we just acquired Manning this year, but have you guys talked since this last meeting?! He seems like a really great guy!! I have a feeling if he isn’t already back in your life, he will come back again…third times a charm!! 😉

    • There’s a volume 3 and he gets crazy sketchy. Most of those stories have already been posted, which I’ll make sure to re-link in the next post.

      *sigh* He WAS super great and I always enjoyed having him around. However, I hated being toyed with and treated as a side thing. He was never up front or honest with me and 2-3 weeks would go by between dates. It was really frustrating. Wait til the next post though and you’ll understand why he’s the way he is hahahaha

  4. Pingback: The Not-Boyfriend, vol. 3 « Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s