Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

The Rugby Player


The Rugby Player messaged me one day and we chatted a little bit. He seemed like my type, physically. We had some similar interests in sports and tv and whatnot, so I messaged him back. After a few harmless messages, we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet after weekend. I was going to Philadelphia and his rugby games are always on Saturdays, so we were both busy. I ended up cancelling our date for Monday night (hooray for the flu!), but felt better on Wednesday so we went out then.
We went to Boylston Street, which is where a lot of the fun bars are in Boston. We met up at this bar that I had been wanting to try. The date itself was pretty good. Nothing too exciting, but not bad either. Had a bunch of beers and chatted a bit. I didn’t have a bad time, so I agreed to hang out again soon. I wasn’t super excited about it, mostly because I wasn’t sexually attracted to him at all. However, I figured he was nice enough and he’d probably treat me very well, so I thought I’d at least give him another chance or two.

We agreed to go out Friday night. This time, we went to a bar in Southie, which is where he lives. Yea, Southie- like The Departed and all that jazz. I love that area (probably because I’m Irish and love stuff like that), so I was a little excited about trying out a bar there.

He met up with me at the T station and we walked to the bar. On the way there, there was a dead rat on the side of the road. Sure, that’s gross. But I didn’t think anything of it. It’s city life. He, on the other hand, FREAKED the eff out and basically ran in the other direction. That was the first red flag. Seriously? It’s a dead rat. Walk around it and move on. If I can handle it better than you, it’s not good.

Is that weird?

Anyway, we get to the bar and sat down at this table. The waitress came over and talked to him like they were friends and asked if we’d move to a table in her section. We did and she introduced herself to me. Turns out that they are friends. And while we were having beers, some of his friends walked in, but didn’t come over to us. Basically they sat behind us, checking me out. I felt really awkward, seeing as they were having this silent conversation around me. I would have rather they come up and say hi to us and then move on.

The whole time we were there, he kept talking over me. He’d cut off my sentences, tell me I was wrong and correct me when he did so, and…I don’t know how to explain it. At any rate- I was losing interest fast and all I was thinking about was “I need to get out of here soon to make the train on time”.

So it was around 10 (train stops at 12:30) when he asked if I wanted to move on to another bar. I mentioned that I probably should be getting home soon. So he ended up pulling out his phone and looked up bus times. He told me that there was a bus leaving at 11:45, so we had that much time still to hang out. I didn’t really know how to say “yea, no, I don’t want to hang out with you”, so I figured I’d just go with it.

On our way to the bar, he kept trying to tell me about Boston history. I kept trying to tell him that I know Boston history- I love Boston and am not some alien who doesn’t know Boston at all. It was really annoying. Then he asked if I had ever been to the Dorchester Heights Monument. I hadn’t, so he decided to take a detour over there.

It’s the highest point in Boston, so we had to hike up this hill. Once we got to the top, we look over the edge and see the Boston skyline. He says “Look how gorgeous it is.”

Not the actual view I had, but very close to it

That’s when I realized that he was setting up the scene to kiss me.

While up there, I kept my arms crossed and just kept talking. And talking. And talking. I started talking about the gym and doing Muay Thai. I started talking about my date with the Swedish Guy. I just kept going and going. I wasn’t going to give him a chance to kiss me.

Then we realized how late it was, and how sketchy things were getting. Seriously, it’s Southie. It’s 11:30pm. Not the safest of places to be. So we walked me to the T station.
On the way there, he brought up politics and low and behold- we don’t agree. I’m very casual about politics when talking about it with people. However, he brought up John Kerry….who I can’t stand. I made sure to say so. He tried to argue with me and looked SO hurt that I don’t like John Kerry. Well, boo hoo. Get over it.

He dropped me off at the T-station and kissed me on the cheek.

While out with some friends the next night, he obsessively texted me and called me. It was really annoying.

Sunday morning, he called again. I was hungover, still in bed, but getting ready to do a TON of shit that day. I was super annoyed, mostly because I hate talking on the phone. I finally shrugged him off. Then he found me on facebook and added me.

I talked to my roommate about it that night and came to the conclusion that I maybe don’t want a realtionship right now. All these dates were going no where and just felt like work.

Then I went on a date Monday night with a different guy and changed my mind- but more on that later.

On Tuesday, I posted a pic of a screenshot of a text conversation with one of my friends, mentioning the guy I went out with Monday night. Few minutes later, I got a text from the Rugby Player, asking if I wanted to go out again. I told him, sure, but that honestly I wasn’t looking for anything serious and didn’t want to waste his time if he was looking for something serious. He thanked me for my honesty, told me he’d like to see me again, but we haven’t talked since then.

However, I may have to thank the Rugby Player because this new guy is pretty amazing so far. 🙂


Author: Jane Champagne

I'm a single late 20s chick, living in Boston. I go on a lot of horrible dates, but some good ones, too.

3 thoughts on “The Rugby Player

  1. i came the same conclusion, the i-don’t-want-a-boyfriend conclusion , after a date this weekend. The guys i keep meeting want to immediately begin and intense –can’t-live-without-communicating-with-you-incessently kind of relationship. and that is not what i want. i realized that what I want is someone fun who is attractive to me, who is manly + a little geeky (likes sports, likes to build things, but likes books and sci-fi…) whom i can hang out with one night a week and then have mutually satisfying sex with. spend the night once in a while. and not every weekend either. maybe like once a month or twice a month. weird.

  2. Pingback: Baby Bender « Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

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