Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

Conversations with Mr. Eyebrows


I plugged in my old blackberry and found some gems from Mr. Eyebrows. You guys will LOVE some of these lines. Most of these were from before I moved to Boston. Remember, we never ended up meeting. I also knew I’d never go out with him, but kept up the “relationship” because the LomL asked me to do for entertainment purposes. Probably not the nicest thing to do, but oh well.

Him: (out of the blue) We’re still going out hon 🙂
Me: haha okay
Him: Yeah baby I can’t wait to see you
Me: Haha


Him: It snowing up there?
Me: Not anymore
Him: What’s the temp?
Me: I don’t know, but it’s cold
Him: Kinda wish you were in my arms right now
Me: Aww…….


While disucssing studying for the GRE
Me: I’m just worried about the verbal section. Math and the essay will be easy
Him: That I could def help you on. I got a 740. Or at the very least would give you some of my adderall.
Me: Haha that would be nice
Him: I have a prescription
Me: Gotcha.
Him: It would just be cool if you lived around here
Me: Oh yea?
Him: Yeah absolutely. I’ve got a job, I’m done with my apps, and I really want a girl, then I’d feel complete

Him: You’re such a sweet girl. I don’t want you to feel bad.
Me: I’m not that sweet haha
Him: I’m just laying in bed. I kinda wish we were snuggling with each other.


Me: If I came down to Boston for a date, I’d have to spend the night since it’s such a long trip. So it really depends on the date for me to come down to Boston
Him: You could stay here. My mom wouldn’t care…


After I moved to Boston, this guy told me he knew where some Red Sox players lived. I mentioned that in passing to Mr. Eyebrows and he FLIPPED out, because he thought the guy just wanted to get into my pants haha I then blocked him on facebook, I guess, because this conversation happened.
Him: Sorry I didn’t mean to say that. Maybe he does live there. I don’t care to be honest, but did you have to immediately block me? I’m hurt. You have a short-ass fuse.
Me: It’s not short. It’s been burning for a long time. And you’re not blocked. Just deleted. I have a private profile.
Him: Same thing. I am sorry for what I said. It isn’t my place, I know. I pretty much got myself fired today and its put my mind in a critical state. Just wrong place and wrong time I guess. But I did what was right. Its kinda hard to explain through text. As for this, I’m done with online dating. It would be nice to hang out sometime. What more can I say here?


Author: Jane Champagne

I'm a single late 20s chick, living in Boston. I go on a lot of horrible dates, but some good ones, too.

6 thoughts on “Conversations with Mr. Eyebrows

  1. Haha WOW. That’s all there really is to say. I especially love the line “My mom wouldn’t care.” Are you going to be posting a pic of his eyebrows? I’m still intrigued!! 😉

  2. Something just seems off about the guy…

  3. This is pretty crazy, but, honestly, not as wild as I expected. An unfortunately large number of guys share Mr Eyebrows’s poor social skills and slightly-skewed version of reality.

    • Yea, I wish I had the better comments from him. They were in my BBM which is deleted now and on facebook, but when I blocked him, it deleted everything. Oh well.

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