Okay, Mr. Not-Boyfriend. Yea, I’m talking TO YOU. I’m breaking my own rule of not posting about you, but this is really getting frustrating.
Sorry this is going to be a really frazzled post. I’m losing my mind right now.
So I’ve been on and off with this guy since August. Well, we were great, then he ended things and I didn’t talk to him til his birthday in Decemeber. Then we went out again, hit it off again, and he ended it again. Now we’re back to the beginning and are sort of on again.
I know already this sounds like a soap opera, but I promise it’s not that bad. I have some personal baggage that I’m not comfortable enough yet to share on here, but he’s aware of it and isn’t all that thrilled about it. That’s why he’s been so fickle about dating me.
Anyway, he’s made references to “our relationship”. He’s always very sweet. I also know for sure that he’s not a player (trust me on this one…), so I don’t think he’s playing a game.
BUT IF YOU LIKE ME, DAMNIT, CALL ME.
I don’t want to feel like I’m throwing myself at him. I hate feeling like that. So the other night, I sent him a message saying “hey are you back from your conference? want to do something soon?” and he replied that his phone had been stolen so he hoped I hadn’t been texting him, that he’d be back the following night, and that he’d let me know when he was free to hang out.
Great, that’s fine. But seriously- when are you free to hang out? Do you even want to hang out? If not, JUST SAY SO.
I’m tired of waiting around. If I knew that he was for sure wanting to be with me, I’d be fine with waiting. But because I don’t know the details of my own relationship, I don’t know what the rules are. Are we exclusive? Is this going somewhere?
I don’t want to date other guys, but I’m not going to stay at home every night, waiting for him to decide. We go out once every other week, as of right now.
I’ve brought up our “relationship” before to him. That’s what ended it last time. He didn’t expect me to ask what was going on and he stumbled over a bunch of words and ended things. I understand that my baggage is a lot to carry and I don’t expect him to do so. I also don’t want to pressure him into a relationship- I just want to know if I should be seeing other guys or not.
I’m too scared to ask him again.