Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

One Bostonian's Misadventures in Dating

It’s okay if he’s not into you


This is a post I’ve been meaning to write for a LONG time. I watch this same scene happen with my lady friends all the time. Over and over again. They meet or see a guy that they’re totally into. The guy is perfect except for one thing: the guy isn’t into them. Every time this happens, I see women obsessing over this.

Why doesn’t he like me? What’s wrong with me? Should I text him again? Should I keep asking him out? If I ask him out more, he’ll have to say yes. What if I show up at the bar he’s at? He HAS to like me; we’re perfect for each other! He’s exactly my type, so I should be his!

Ladies. Ladies. No. Just stop it. If he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t like you. If he doesn’t want to meet you, he doesn’t want to meet you. Yea, it sucks. Yes, he SHOULD like you. You’re fantastic. You’re awesome. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re beautiful. He’s crazy and stupid. We all know that, but you acting like a crazy psycho stalker doesn’t make it any better. In fact, it makes you look just like that: a crazy psycho stalker.

I speak from experience. My story is a little off, since it’s about a guy I actually had a relationship with instead of a new guy I’m just meeting, but I hope it helps you understand why it’s better to just leave things be.

I once dated a great guy who, at the time, I loved very much. When he broke up with me (long, long story and the details of why he broke up with me were unclear at the time), I was devastated. We were PERFECT, why would he end things? Clearly, I thought, he was having a momentary lapse of reason.

I tried everything. I tried flirting with other guys. I tried throwing myself at him. I tried being vulnerable. I tried being mean. I tried to talk to his mother. I talked to his friends. I became a crazy psycho ex-girlfriend.

And you know what happened? Nothing. Did I win my boyfriend back? Nope. Did I meet anyone new in the mean time who would be better for me? Nope. Did I mar my reputation by becoming this crazy psycho girl instead of the laid back, chill girl that I was before? Yup.

So girls. If a guy doesn’t like you, walk away. Be a classy lady. He’ll notice that and respond better than if you try to force something that isn’t there.

Besides, why settle for a guy that you forced to go out with you when there are plenty of guys out there who are dying to go out with you instead? Yes, I know, it feels like it’s never going to happen, but there are plenty of guys out there that are actually right for you. So stop wasting your time with this loser who is uninterested and work on finding the guy that’s trying to find you!


Author: Jane Champagne

I'm a single late 20s chick, living in Boston. I go on a lot of horrible dates, but some good ones, too.

11 thoughts on “It’s okay if he’s not into you

  1. If a guy doesnt call a girl back at least 6 times a day it means he thinks he no shot at getting laid on the first date. Pure and simple.

  2. Great post and you are bang on about just realizing the fact that he’s just not into you. Seriously, who wants a guy that that doesn’t think treat his lady like the cream of the crop. The problem is that rationality often gets tossed out the window!

  3. soooo, Im a college student writing a paper on blogs in regards to relationships and “love”… any chance to ask you some questions about your blogs?

  4. soooo, Im writing a paper on a blog in regards to relationships and “love”. Any chance I could ask you some questions about your blog? sweet, thankssss

  5. Reblogged this on Singleosophy and commented:
    This one is for the ladies, from my favorite 26-year old blonde Bostonian blogger:

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