I’m an online dater. I like the fact that I can talk to someone before I commit any serious time to them. Now, I don’t need any lectures that people can lie to you online and make up their fake personalities. I know this. That’ll be another post for another time. The issue that I’m bringing up now for this post is “time”.
There have been a few guys that I have “met” online and hit it off with right off the bat. Our personalities seem to click, we have a lot in common, we’re digging each other, etc. So we try to make plans to meet. They cancel. We reschedule. They cancel. For one guy in particular, this was going on for a month or so. I eventually gave up trying when he finally got his act together and we met up last week for the first time. Our date went well so we ended up going out again the next night. Great, right? No. It took a MONTH AND A HALF to get to that point. That should have NEVER happened. Yet, I allowed it to happen.
While we were hitting it off on our date, I was thinking “why did it take so long for us to meet?”. I knew I couldn’t totally freak out every time he cancelled- he has a busy work schedule that I had known about and he already had a lot of plans built up on the weekends before I came into the picture. However, let’s say we had gotten to meet earlier. We would have hit it off obviously, since we just did. But what would that have meant for the future?
If you’re too busy to schedule a first date, you’re too busy to fit in a brand new relationship.
Let me be clear: I don’t require a lot of your time. I’m not a clingy girlfriend. I’m not jealous. I’m easy to please. That being said, new relationships take a lot of time and work if you want them to start off well. You can’t start off a serious monogamous relationship by only seeing each other once a week, if that.
So please, online daters out there- if you’re too busy, you’re too busy! It doesn’t make you a bad person. Eventually your schedule will clear up a little and you can foster a new relationship.
However, if you’re only looking for a “hook up” relationship, just say so! There are plenty of girls and guys that are okay with that, especially 20somethings. Just be clear that you’re too busy for a serious relationship, but you’d like something else. The worst that will happen is that someone will say no! This also saves you from a lot of unnecessary drama. JUST BE UP FRONT.
- Are Serial Daters Just a Bunch of Emotional Polygamists? (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)